A New Hope

Welcome to the Light Side, y’all, where we’re going to get drunker than Owen Lars presumably has to just to drown out the utter shame and disappointment with his sad life and his irritating nephew.

Drinking Rules For A New Hope


Take a Sip Whenever…

Luke’s a whiny little bitch

C-3PO verbally abuses R2-D2

Alec Guinness looks like he regrets his life choices

Han gives an order


Take a Drink Whenever…

Someone says something derisive or insulting about the Millennium Falcon

A lightsaber gets activated

C-3PO mentions his programming

Someone uses a hand-held comlink

A character speaks negatively of Obi-Wan Kenobi


Finish a Drink Whenever…

C-3PO is nice to R2-D2

A character with a full name is killed*

Drinking Rules For the Whole Trilogy

Take a Sip Whenever…

There’s a shot that features sound in space

A line could conceivably be used in a porno

Han calls Luke “Kid”

Han refers to the Millennium Falcon as though it is his woman


Take a Drink Whenever…

Someone communicates with someone through the Force

Someone says “It’s not my fault”

Someone says “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”

There’s twincest

R2-D2 plugs into something (see above for rules about porno)


Finish a Drink Whenever…

A Force power is shown onscreen for the first time

You see a woman that isn’t Leia or a POC that isn’t Lando

A planet is shown or mentioned that only has one type of climate or topical characteristic



*If you knew that Porkins’ full name was “Jek Tono Porkins” then you deserve to drink the whole thing, pal.


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