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Carry On, My Wayward Winchester

7 Oct

Supernatural: Whatever the opposite of progress is.


I haven’t written on this blog in awhile because I fell into a horrible addiction to a terrible substance that looks really appealing but is crippling to your ability to be productive, have a life, and go outside to enjoy that warm ball in the sky. This addiction is Supernatural, and I don’t understand it. It’s misogynistic, homophobic, queer-baiting, clumsy, and unimaginative.

And I love it. I don’t know why.

Okay,┬áso, that’s a lie

Anyway, Season 10 starts today! And to celebrate, I wrote a new version of “Carry On My Wayward Son” just for the show! Let’s all sing along!


Carry on my wayward son.
There’s no peace when you are done.
Heaven’s closed and angels suck
So don’t die no more.

[Bitchin’ Guitar Solo]

Sam was clutching Dean tight to his chest hair,
Sobbing manfully but Dean wasn’t in there,
Though he held his brother tighter,
Dean just totally died.

I’ve seen angels stopping people from dying,
They pulled Dean out of hell to stop him from frying.
So why’d his death even happen?
It makes me want to say:

“Where the hell was Castiel??
Up in heaven in a chair?
Talking shit with Metatron?
Cas, you’re always wrong.”

At the end of things I saw a Dean demon
Thought it wasn’t real, still thought I was dreamin’.
Prob’ly shouldn’t be excited
That now his eyes are black.

Though his eyes can see, he’s not a Winchester,
When his soul’s at stake, Crowley’s the investor.
I can’t imagine all the growling,
When I hear their voices say,

“Carry on my wayward son.
Looks like you and Sam aren’t done.
You will never get some rest.
So don’t try no more.”

“Don’t you try no moooooooooooore!”